


Battle for the Bakery

by Psynatural



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Baked Goods, Bakery, Castiel and Dean Winchester are Cute, Castiel and Food, Castiel and PB&J, Crying Castiel, Crying Sam Winchester, Cupcakes, Cute Demon Dean, Dean and Food, Dean and Pie, Demon Dean Winchester, Episode: s09e23 Do You Believe in Miracles?, Fanart, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Metatron Being a Dick, Mind Control, POV Castiel, Parody, Sam and Food, cupcake!Castiel, cupcake!Dean Winchester, cupcake!Sam Winchester, fairy tale references, giant cupcake!Metatron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-02
Updated: 2014-10-02
Packaged: 2018-02-19 15:35:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2393678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psynatural/pseuds/Psynatural
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Misha issued a <a href="https://twitter.com/mishacollins/status/517431296541220865">challenge</a> to photoshop a crying cupcake.  I made a crying Cas Cupcake, but then got carried away and wrote a story to go with it.]</p><p>Everyone is a cupcake in a battle to save the bakery.  The basic premise is from season 9 episode 23 “Do you believe in miracles?” (and therefore obviously full of spoilers) but the interpretation is a bit liberal.  Some cupcake-on-cupcake violence and mild language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Battle for the Bakery

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit different from my usual, and I blame/credit that on Misha. Just a little bit more angst and fun before the ridiculously-long Hellatus _finally_ ends next week. If you are looking for a more human-shaped version of post season 9, check out [Righteous Demon](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1794310/chapters/3847021%22).
> 
> The photoshop was a bit of a rush-job since Misha only gave us an hour and I was late to the party.
> 
> Obviously Kripke owns everything, I'm just playing in his bakery.

“Cas, you just gave up an entire army to save one guy,” Dean remarked, gazing back at Cas in wonder.  No matter how dire their circumstances, nor whatever the outcome of the upcoming battle, Cas knew that he could never regret his choice to save Dean.  His army of angel food cupcakes had demanded that Cas kill Dean to prove his loyalty to them, but there was no way that Cas could ever kill Dean.

Metatron had once been an ordinary cupcake like the rest of them.  Then, Metatron had stolen the Baker’s magic cookbook, and was using it to take over the bakery while declaring himself the new Baker.  But if left unchecked, Metatron would destroy the whole bakery.  True, the bakery had been in chaos ever since the real Baker left, but Metatron was a tyrant.  He had already cast a spell over all of the angel food cupcakes to make them mindlessly follow him.  Cas miraculously had been spared from the effects of the spell – all of his time with Sam and Dean had given him a gooey center of PB&J so he was able to keep his free will.  Cas had tried to free the other angel food cupcakes from the spell, and he had almost succeeded.  But then Hannah had issued an ultimatum, wanting him to choose between the angel food cupcakes and Dean.  It really had been no choice at all – Cas would always chose Dean.  Still, it had stung to see his fellow angel food cupcakes betray him like that, leaving him with little hope of being able to save the bakery. 

“But hey, you've still got us!” Dean continued.  Dean and Sam were the most loyal friends that Cas could ever ask for.  Even if he had once been made from the same batter as the other angel food cupcakes, the Winchesters were truly his family now.  The bonds that he shared with them were stronger than anything he had ever experienced before, especially his Profound Bond with Dean.  Earlier, the three of them had had to escape an angry horde of angel food cupcakes all trying to squash Dean because Cas had refused to do it.  Now they were safe for the moment, hidden on a secret shelf where the other cupcakes couldn't get them.

“Do you really think that we three will be enough?” Cas asked, daring to hope.

“We always have been,” Dean assured him, flashing Cas the warmest smile he’d seen in months.  Cas’ PB&J center grew warm with his words, and Cas let himself believe in Dean.  Cas had lost his faith in the real Baker years ago, ever since the Baker had seemingly abandoned his Bakery, but Cas had come to realize that that didn't mean that he’d lost all of his faith.  Cas still had faith in Dean.  Cas would follow Dean into battle no matter what the odds.  Dean had a strange way of always coming through in the end.  He never gave up, never stopped trying.  Dean was an inspiration to Cas, and gave him hope.

“Do you have a plan?” Cas asked.  Metatron had gloated over his assured victory, and was off celebrating somewhere.  Either that or he was rehearsing some long-winded speech about how happy he was to be accepted as the new Baker.  In any case, their moment of quiet wouldn't last long.  If they were going to come up with a plan to strike back and save the bakery, they needed to do it before Metatron got back.

“We’re going to Hansel and Gretel the son of a bitch!” Dean proclaimed.

“I understood that reference!” Cas exclaimed excitedly, quite proud of himself.  Sam and Dean both stared at Cas with shocked expressions on their faces.

“You know about Hansel and Gretel?” Sam asked.

“Er, I’m quite pop culture savvy now,” Cas replied, still feeling a bit pleased with himself.  Both of the Winchesters seemed surprised, but impressed.  After years of constantly being confused by all of Dean’s references, it felt good to finally have a breakthrough.

“Alright, so here’s the plan.  Sammy – you are going to heat up the oven.  Make those flames hotter than Hell.  Ask Gadreel to help you with the spell to suck Metatron in once he’s been shoved within range.  Cas – you are going to destroy the magical cookbook so that Metatron will no longer be anything but an ordinary cupcake.  At the right moment, I’ll shove his ass into the fire,” Dean told them.  Cas had shared his suspicions that they could still get Gadreel on their side.  Unlike the other angel food cupcakes, Gadreel had seen up close and personal just what a cruel and capricious Baker Metatron could be, and had started to show doubts about continuing to follow him.  The ability to see things as they really were made the mind control spell weaker on him.  Since Gadreel was one of the few angel food cupcakes who had seen the magic cookbook, he could be an invaluable ally.  Even though Sam and Gadreel shared a rough history, they all knew that Sam would never let his personal feelings jeopardize the mission.  Besides, Sam was the best of the three of them at diplomacy.

“I don’t like the idea of you fighting Metatron alone,” Sam protested, giving his brother a concerned look.

“I know, Sammy – but that’s a big oven, and I’m counting on you to get it ready in time.  Metatron could come back at any time.  Besides, once Cas destroys the magic cookbook I should be able to take Metatron, even if he doesn't shrink back down to normal size,” Dean reminded him.  Metatron had used a magic spell from the cookbook to turn himself into a humongous giant lording over all the other cupcakes.  “Besides – I’m now a vitamin enriched cupcake since I ate some of Cain’s Wheaties.”

“Yeah – I know that you are our best shot, Dean.  Just be careful,” Sam replied.  He looked miserable at the prospect of Dean facing the biggest danger alone, but knew that this plan was their best hope.  Cas also hated the idea of Dean facing Metatron alone, but bit his tongue.  Each part of their three-cupcake team had an important job to do, and Cas needed to focus on the task ahead.  The best way for him to help Dean was to make sure that the magic cookbook was destroyed before Metatron got back.  Perhaps if he finished quickly enough he could follow Dean and help when he attacked Metatron.

The three little cupcakes all hopped off in different directions.  Sam went off to go find Gadreel, and then make his way towards the oven.  Dean started climbing the shelves on the far wall, heading for the top where he could jump down and take Metatron by surprise.  Cas started searching everywhere to find the magical cookbook that Metatron had hidden.

Cas ran into trouble when he came across some of the other angel food cupcakes.  They were all still heavily under the influence of Metatron’s mind control spell, and they all wanted him dead.  Fortunately, Cas had more battle experience than most of them, so he was still able to keep the upper hand even when more than one charged at him at the same time.  Cas shoved each of them over the edge of the countertop, hoping that they would all land frosting side up.  He hated cupcake-on-cupcake violence, but found it to be a necessary evil in this case.  Whenever possible, he tried to plan his blows so that the angel food cupcakes wouldn't land on top of each other either.  He didn't want anyone to get squashed if he could help it. 

Still, all of the constant fighting slowed his search considerably, and he worried that he wouldn't find the magic cookbook in time.  Sparing a glance across the room, he saw that Sam had found Gadreel and the two of them had almost gotten the oven ready.  As far as Cas was concerned, this redeemed Gadreel in his eyes.  From his low vantage point, Cas couldn't see if Dean had made it to the top shelf yet, but he hoped that he had and was now well hidden.  There were all kinds of nooks and crannies where Dean could hide amongst all of the jars, spices, and cookbooks.  The success of their plan now depended on if Cas could find the magic cookbook.

After a flash of inspiration, Cas hoped over to the flour jar and knocked off the lid.  There, partially buried in the flour and hidden from view when looking through the outside of the glass jar, was the magic cookbook.  Cas didn't even let himself pause for a sigh of relief as he knocked the jar onto its side, bit down on the magic cookbook, and started pulling the magic cookbook with all of his might.  It was heavy, and Cas missed his kale wings.  Metatron’s first act after declaring himself Baker had been to use a magic spell to peel off the wings of all the other angel food cupcakes.

Just as Cas had barely finished pulling the magic cookbook out of the flour jar, there came the giant thuds of Metatron hopping into the room.  Metatron took one look at the spilled flour, Cas, and the magic cookbook and quickly charged across the room.  Cas shoved the magic cookbook with all the strength that he had left, and it sailed into the sink with a loud splash.  As the gingerbread pages of the magic cookbook started to dissolve into the water, Metatron lost all of his magic powers.  He was an ordinary cupcake again.  However, he didn't shrink back down to normal size.  He angrily loomed over Cas.

“So the magic cookbook – arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe – is in pieces, and for what again?  Oh, that's right – to save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right?  I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of the bakery, but ultimately, it was all about saving one cupcake, right?  Well, this is the last thing that either of you will ever do!” Metatron threatened.

“You will never get away with this.  You give our brothers and sisters far too little credit.  Now that they are no longer under your spell, they will soon learn that you have been playing them,” Cas told him.  He knew that he had to keep Metatron talking for as long as possible.  It looked like Sam and Gadreel had the oven all ready now, but Metatron wasn't yet in the right position for Dean’s ambush.  Getting Metatron to monologue wasn't exactly hard – the cupcake was obsessed with the sound of his own voice.

“Get away with what?  You told a silly story to a group of less-than-believers.  They will do nothing because they are frightened little sheep-shaped cookies following my crook wherever it leads. And where I'm taking them, back to our rightful place atop this mountain of cupcake shame and batter droppings – when that happens, trust me, they're not gonna care how they got there.  I'll clean up your mess in an hour because you never learned how to tell a good story,” Metatron gloated.

“But you did!” Cas told him.  Metatron’s eyes gazed downwards, and he suddenly spotted all of the angel food cupcakes that Cas had knocked off of the counter earlier.  With the magic cookbook destroyed, they were now all freed from his mind control spell, thinking for themselves, and glaring up at him.  Metatron seethed with range from having been outed.

“Well guess what?  As soon as I find Dean, I’m going to make you watch while I squash him hard enough that his cherry pie filling will paint the walls!” Metatron roared angrily.  He started searching the room for Dean.

As soon as Metatron’s back was turned, Dean took a flying leap from the top shelf.  But any hope that started to rise within Cas was quickly dashed.  Cas watched in horror as Metatron saw Dean’s movement out of the corner of his eye, and turned to face him with a wicked grin on his face.  Metatron somehow had enough of his mojo left to extrude part of himself forward in the form of a mitt to catch Dean as he tackled him.  But it wasn't enough.  Dean’s momentum and vitamin-enriched supercharge were enough to shove Metatron’s giant form back towards the oven.  Once Metatron was in range of the oven, the spell that Sam and Gadreel had cast kicked in.  Metatron was sucked backwards and into the fiery flames of the oven.  The smugness was suddenly gone from Metatron’s face once he realized what was happening.  Metatron had underestimated them, thinking them inconsequential because he had become so much more powerful than them.  Now he wore a look that was a mix of shock, fear, and fury.  Even in the end, Metatron thought that he was above them and therefore somehow deserved their loyalty and respect.

The plan had been for Dean to rebound off of Metatron and fling himself to safety.  But Metatron’s grip on Dean was too strong.  None of them had counted on Metatron somehow having enough mojo left to trap Dean.  The scene seemed to move in slow motion as Cas helplessly watched the two of them flying through the air towards the oven.  Metatron’s horrified look turned smug when he realized that if he had to go down, at least he was taking Dean down with him.  He seemed to revile in the pain that was surely evident on Cas’ face.  Dean struggled to free himself from Metatron’s grasp, but it was all in vain.

Dean’s eyes sought out both Sam and Cas.  His gaze showed a mixture of triumph, sorrow, and love for those he was leaving behind.  He seemed more concerned for the pain that this would cause each of them than he was about his own impending doom.

“I’m proud of us!” Dean called back to them, just before the oven door magically slammed shut behind him.

“DEAN!” Cas cried, breaking down into heartbroken sobs.  Tears of devastation ran down his sides and started to puddle beneath him.  He was going to make himself soggy, but he didn't care.  Metatron had been right about one thing – everything Cas had done, he had done for Dean.  And now Dean was gone too.

He wasn't sure how much time passed before Sam found him, and they cried together.  Nothing else seemed to matter anymore now that Dean was gone.  He ignored the other angel food cupcakes when they tried to pester him for information on what they should do now.  He’d let Gadreel handle it.

Cas suddenly jerked with a start, not sure what had gotten his attention.  Then as he watched, a small cloud of black smoke squeezed through the crack at the edge of the oven door.  The black smoke flew across the room to Cas and Sam, then rearranged itself until it was cupcake shaped.  Then the smoke somehow solidified into Dean.

“Dean!” Sam cried, cuddling his brother in happiness.  Dean normally wasn't much of a cuddler, but he let that one slide on account of coming back from the dead.  Cas stared at Dean in shock, hardly daring to believe that it could really be him.

“Hey,” Dean greeted, struggling slightly to talk as Sam was squishing him a bit.  “So apparently vitamin-enhancements mixed with flames as hot as Hell turned me into a devil’s food cupcake.  But don’t worry – I've still got my cherry pie filling.”  Dean flashed them one of his beautiful smiles, and smirked.

“Dean,” Cas breathed, his voice cracking slightly.  It really was him.  His precious Righteous Cupcake was really here.  Sure, he might be a bit more devil-may-care now, but he was alive and that was all that Cas really cared about.  Dean’s emerald eyes shone as he gazed back at him, conveying more emotion than he ever put into words.  Cas smiled back at Dean, knowing his own gaze was showing just how much Dean meant to him.

“Oh, enough already!” Sam suddenly snapped, startling Cas because he had momentarily forgotten that Sam was even there.  Sam shoved Dean forward before he even knew what hit him.

Dean’s startled eyes opened wide when his lips fell right on top of Cas’ lips.  Intense pleasure and joy spread through Cas, only made stronger when Dean smiled and relaxed into the kiss.  Their eyes had met, and they’d realized that they both wanted this.  Cas could feel it too in the gentle, reassuring caress of Dean’s soft frosting lips on his.  Dean tasted like chocolate and cherry pie, and Cas just couldn't get enough.  Both of their mouths might get a bit smeared from this, but it was completely worth it.  Cas would be perfectly content to stay like this forever.  Neither of them might be good with words, but showing their feelings though actions completely suited them.

“You’re welcome,” Sam told them with a laugh.  He sounded like he was rolling his eyes at them for taking this long to finally kiss each other.  Sam then started hopping away to give them some privacy.  Cas felt immense gratitude towards Sam.  Fighting Metatron had sounded like a piece of cake compared to making the first step with Dean.  Cas had been worried that Dean might not feel the same way, but now that he knew that Dean did, it felt even better than if he’d gotten his kale wings back.  Cas was on marshmallow cloud nine.

“Thanks Sammy!” Dean called after him, and then he turned back to Cas.  “Yeah my chocolate and your peanut butter really should mix more often.”  Dean smirked then leaned back in to kiss Cas some more.

“Hey Dean!” Crowley’s voice tried to interrupt them, but neither of them were interested in paying him much attention, and so they just kept kissing like he wasn't even there.  “Now that you are a devil’s food cupcake too, wanna go howl at that moon?”

“Sorry Crowley – I’m going to be a bit busy taking Cas over the moon!” Dean replied with another smirk, his loving emerald eyes never leaving Cas.

**Author's Note:**

> ❤ ❤ FEEDBACK and COMMENTS are loved ❤ ❤


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